I am the clumsiest person I know. I am Clumsy McClumsy of the clan McClumsy from Clumsyville, Clumsyshire.
Today as I was getting changed in the gym, I managed to knock one of the hairdryers off its shelf. And straight onto my foot.
I’d only been there 15 minutes and managed to injure myself with a piece of equipment I don’t actually use. Didn’t stop me from jumping in the pool for another front crawl session though. Fifteen minutes on the treadmill had warmed me up nicely, so I was determined to take advantage of a little weariness and swim slowly, focusing on technique.
I did a few sinking down and breathing out and push and glide drills to relax, then moved onto front crawl. And it is getting better. I’m generally more relaxed and trying to take it slowly, although I still seem to end up out of breath on the third or fourth lap and end up scrabbling with my arms and losing my breathing pattern.
It was going reasonably well until a woman wearing Calvin Klein Obsession got into the pool. How could I tell? I could smell it in the water. It absolutely filled my nostrils. I know it’s potent stuff, but blimey, you’d have thought it would have diluted in all that water.
So I thought like a shark scenting blood and tried to make myself long and smooth in the water. I’m trying to swim with bilateral breathing, taking air in every three strokes. I tried telling myself I had plenty of time to breathe in on the third stroke if I took it slowly and that worked quite well. But as soon as I slipped out of the right rhythm I struggled to get it back again. If I accidentally take in water as well as air, I struggle to get back on track with the breathing and inevitably have to take a bit of a break at the end of the next length. Less of a shark, more like a cat in the water.
But I feel better, more confident and I think it will come. I just need to keep trying and hopefully it will all click into place.